The Smartest Decisions Rarely Look Impressive
One of the things I've noticed over the years is that some of the smartest decisions I've ever made were the ones my ego liked the least.
A few years ago, I was driving a Mercedes SUV. It was a beautiful vehicle, but it seemed like every time I took it in for service, I left another thousand dollars (or more!) poorer. This was during COVID, when business had slowed down considerably, and I finally had to admit something I didn't really want to admit: driving the Mercedes no longer made financial sense.
Around that same time, my mom generously offered me her second vehicle—a 2010 Toyota RAV4. It had no backup camera, no Apple CarPlay, and the suspension had clearly seen better days. It was about as far from a Mercedes as you could get. I accepted her offer, drove that RAV4 for more than a year, and never once regretted the decision.
That wasn't the first time I'd had to set my ego aside.
When I was a student at Dartmouth College, I had a semester off and took a job as a cashier at Tippy's Tacos. One day someone I knew from high school walked in, looked at me behind the register, and said, "I thought you went to Dartmouth."
"I do," I replied.
"So...what are you doing working here?"
For just a moment, I asked myself the same question. Then I remembered why I was there. I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I was earning money during a semester off from school. It made perfect sense, even if it didn't fit someone else's idea of what an Ivy League student "should" be doing.
Years later, during COVID, I made another decision that probably sounded a little strange. I started donating plasma. They were paying well at the time, especially if you'd had COVID, and before long I'd earned enough to buy my Peloton. I still laugh when I tell people I bought a Peloton by selling my bodily fluids!
It's a funny story, but it's also true. At that moment in my life, it was simply a practical decision that helped me accomplish something I wanted without creating financial stress.
Looking back, those three stories have something in common.
None of those decisions made me feel especially impressive.
All of them moved my life forward.
I've started thinking of them as bridge decisions.
A bridge decision isn't where you plan to stay forever. It's the practical decision that helps you get from where you are today to where you ultimately want to be. The problem is that bridges rarely look glamorous while you're standing on them. They often look like a step backward. They confuse other people. Sometimes they even confuse us.
I think accomplished women struggle with this more than we realize because we've spent years building an identity around being successful. We become attached to the image we've created—the respected attorney, the business owner, the executive, the beautiful home, the luxury vehicle. Then life changes. Business slows down. Priorities shift. An unexpected opportunity appears. Suddenly the wisest decision doesn't match the image we've worked so hard to build.
That's when our ego starts whispering.
"What will people think?"
I've learned that this is usually the wrong question.
A much better question is, Will this decision serve the life I'm trying to create?
Those two questions don't always lead to the same answer.
I've reached a point in my life where I'm much more interested in making wise decisions than impressive ones. Sometimes the wisest decision is humble. Sometimes it's temporary. Sometimes it's misunderstood. But if it moves you toward the life you're trying to build, it isn't a step backward.
It's a bridge.
One of the themes running through my recent articles is that life unfolds in seasons. Our roles aren't our identity. No meaningful season is ever wasted. Every season quietly prepares us for the next one.
I've come to believe that bridge decisions are often what carry us from one season to the next.
Most people won't recognize them while you're making them.
The beautiful thing is, they don't have to.
Continue the conversation
If you've missed the first three articles in this series, you may enjoy reading them next:
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Or, if you're curious about the philosophy behind these ideas, I invite you to explore the Identity OS Framework™.
